Nearly forgot this. That annoying twit Simon Hoggart had this to say last week:
One sign of the infantilisation of our national life is the growing tendency to anthropomorphise inanimate objects. Blackpool buses which are not picking up passengers say: “Sorry, I’m not in service”, as if they were Clara the talking bus from Thomas the Tank Engine…
As plenty of archaeologists and medievalists would be able to tell him, there is a very long and widespread tradition (from ancient civilizations through to the early modern period) of inscriptions on artefacts that will say, for example, “A made me”, or “B owns me”.
THAT ALL MAY CWM AND NON MAY STAY AT HOM I RING TO SERMON WITH A LUSTY BOM
Or you could have the 1834 inscription on one of its neighbours. Same general idea… somewhat different tone.
OBEY OUR CALL THE RIGHT THE GOOD OLD WAY, SHUN SCHISM’S WILES, NOR EVER FROM IT STRAY.